I feel the time is almost right... somehow... as if my lifelong partner is about to come.
Dunno why I feel that, but as I was at Logos, there was this sermon... and then the lady pastor called those who would pledge to build a godly family to go up the stage and have the elders put their hands on them and pray for them and bless them and commit their pledge of covenant to God. I went up. I hope he did. If he didn't, it's not him.
Regardless, I just wanted to document my pledge made before God that day, so I have prove that I said that and bind myself to my words.
The entire vow and pledge that I made and all the thoughts in my head when I was making that pledge -- when I was kneeling down with my shoes off on the steps of that stage with green carpet in front of the Cross -- is here in between the double lines (not just one part of it).
My "That" Pledge
============================================================
13/5/12 我與主立約: 我要與丈夫建立一個基督的家. 好好帶他們在祢面前, pay the price.
使他們明白基督的愛是何等長、闊、高、深。(Like that guy in a very tight dark cell locked up for many years who carved a cross in the middle and carved those words on the left, right, top and down ends of the cross. He could hardly see when they brought him out of the cell cuz all those years of darkness wrecked his eyes, but he kept his faith, later, ppl saw in that cell that cross and those 4 words. That guy... he really understood just how long, wide, high and deep God's love really is, in that persecution. And that understanding really helped him keep his faith.)
凡祢所教導的, 沒有一樣避違不說, 前提是: 祢先教我, 我就教他們, 祢先引領我, 我就引領他們. If you guarantee (Holy Spirit is my guarantee) that I live before you, I will teach them to live before you too.
God, I fear making a covenant with you, cuz I know the moment I sign my life away I have lost it. This pledge reminds me of when God made the covenant with Abraham by splitting the heifer, the goat, the ram, along with a dove and a young pigeon. Then cut the animals in halves, and put each half facing each other on a V shaped gorge so that their blood flows in the V like a river -- Gen 15:9-21. This is a special type of agreement -- a covenant between a stronger and a weaker person, it is an unconditional covenant, saying that if any of us breaks this, then the other party can do to the one who breaks this just like what they do to the 5 animals. Here is a blurb about it:
The only time that both parties of a covenant would pass between the pieces of animals was when the fulfillment of the covenant was dependent upon both parties keeping commitments.
Abraham freaked out when God said to take those 5 animals, because he knew exactly what that those 5 animals meant -- it meant it's that kind of special unconditional covenant, and on his part, it was a covenant for him to keep his promise never to sin, and he knew, that the moment he stepped into that gorge he is dead meat. Abraham knew that he'll never be able to not ever sin.
Concerning the significance of God alone moving between the halves of the animals, it is to be noted that it is a smoking furnace with a flaming torch, representing God's two feet, not Abraham, which passed between the pieces. Such an act, it would seem, should be shared by both parties, but in this case it is doubtless to be explained by the fact that the covenant is principally a promise by God. He is the one who binds Himself. He is saying -- If I fail the covenant, I will bear the responsibility of being cut in half just like each of these five animals. If you fail the covenant, I will also bear the responsibility of being cut in half just like each of these five animals. And He did. Christ died for us.
So, as freaked out as I am about this pledge, I shouldn't run away. But I will tell God -- You have the responsibility of getting us both through, just like you walked through that gorge that day. And I am at the full mercy of your hands. In this fear I will pledge this, and I will do all I can and rely on your mercy to accomplish and complete this.
Your Daughter, Your God,
Esther Ng 黃敏璇 Jehova 我是
(that I Am)
Sunday 13.5.2012
**Footnote: To take care of husband and kids and help them to be more than conquerors, the overcomers and the martyrs in Revelation 12.
============================================================
Now I can just go ahead and freak out in tremendous fear in reverence. How the heck am I supposed to keep this? I better keep this.
But I just realised... that this pledge is no different to the pledge that I made when I was really young, to put my self on the offering plate and give it to God entirely without reservations. That was my first pledge. This is just an extension of the same pledge. Just like the new covenant is just an extension of the old testament.
~~~
Things I have to sort out before I can enter a relationship healthily with the right mindset -- my views on divorce and remarriage. And to change my current mindset to align with God's much stricter views -- Divorce is not an option. Because divorce does not dissolve a marriage, however legal, however money you paid out, however anything! It does end a relationship in human eyes but not in God's eyes it doesn't. God, who created male and female and marriage --- God recognises all first marriages. But will only recognise second marriages if one of the partner is dead and the other partner remarrying is still alive and has been freed completely of the first marriage. Now, it is important to recognise that this is a matter of principle. I must be very careful when I'm saying this and agreeing with David Pawson here. Because I know some of you have hard, stubborn, unyielding and unsubmissive hearts and will twist my words to say -- if we killed one partner then i can take the other free. For this, thank God, we have king David's fallen monarchy and his story to warn us of God's principles. That guilt of hiding this adultery for one year consumed king David till he just wasted away. And then from that day he set his eyes on somebody else's married woman (not that day that he actually had sex with her or married her. it goes much earlier than that), his kingdom went on a downhill decline, one of his sons raped his daughter, another son coveted after his throne and David had to flee for fear of his life. And the Israelites became a very discontent people, and they were grumbling, saying "look at the behaviour of these royal children. If they are like this, how is the monarchy going to survive?" and it didnt. It went downhill. Until Jesus Christ came with His principles as above and put it right. So don't you take God's Word (&principles) lightly. Heed them, and He will set your paths straight though full of troubles, but they will be straight and not winding so that you will not waste any of your life or your youth or your time walking in circles in the wilderness.
I want to adopt God's principles as my own, after hearing David Pawson's sermon. Do you?
When marriage takes place, there's a leaving and a cleaving (cleave is the word for glue in Hebrew). The woman and man leaves each of their parents -- this family breaks up in terms of who is now priority and who is now secondary. Leave. Left their parents. Cleaving -- go with wifey/husband.If people understood that, then there will be much less issues with mother in laws and father in laws. Cuz they know which order things go in.
David Pawson -- (Divorce and remarriage) --
You are still married even when you divorce.
Bring it closer to God's rule. Politics. Politics is relative. you have to go for the lesser of two evils.
Jesus was talking about principles -- which is "dont do evil" at all. Jesus was not a politician. A statesman works on principles. Not politics. Absolute.
Dunno why I feel that, but as I was at Logos, there was this sermon... and then the lady pastor called those who would pledge to build a godly family to go up the stage and have the elders put their hands on them and pray for them and bless them and commit their pledge of covenant to God. I went up. I hope he did. If he didn't, it's not him.
Regardless, I just wanted to document my pledge made before God that day, so I have prove that I said that and bind myself to my words.
The entire vow and pledge that I made and all the thoughts in my head when I was making that pledge -- when I was kneeling down with my shoes off on the steps of that stage with green carpet in front of the Cross -- is here in between the double lines (not just one part of it).
My "That" Pledge
============================================================
13/5/12 我與主立約: 我要與丈夫建立一個基督的家. 好好帶他們在祢面前, pay the price.
使他們明白基督的愛是何等長、闊、高、深。(Like that guy in a very tight dark cell locked up for many years who carved a cross in the middle and carved those words on the left, right, top and down ends of the cross. He could hardly see when they brought him out of the cell cuz all those years of darkness wrecked his eyes, but he kept his faith, later, ppl saw in that cell that cross and those 4 words. That guy... he really understood just how long, wide, high and deep God's love really is, in that persecution. And that understanding really helped him keep his faith.)
凡祢所教導的, 沒有一樣避違不說, 前提是: 祢先教我, 我就教他們, 祢先引領我, 我就引領他們. If you guarantee (Holy Spirit is my guarantee) that I live before you, I will teach them to live before you too.
God, I fear making a covenant with you, cuz I know the moment I sign my life away I have lost it. This pledge reminds me of when God made the covenant with Abraham by splitting the heifer, the goat, the ram, along with a dove and a young pigeon. Then cut the animals in halves, and put each half facing each other on a V shaped gorge so that their blood flows in the V like a river -- Gen 15:9-21. This is a special type of agreement -- a covenant between a stronger and a weaker person, it is an unconditional covenant, saying that if any of us breaks this, then the other party can do to the one who breaks this just like what they do to the 5 animals. Here is a blurb about it:
The only time that both parties of a covenant would pass between the pieces of animals was when the fulfillment of the covenant was dependent upon both parties keeping commitments.
Abraham freaked out when God said to take those 5 animals, because he knew exactly what that those 5 animals meant -- it meant it's that kind of special unconditional covenant, and on his part, it was a covenant for him to keep his promise never to sin, and he knew, that the moment he stepped into that gorge he is dead meat. Abraham knew that he'll never be able to not ever sin.
Concerning the significance of God alone moving between the halves of the animals, it is to be noted that it is a smoking furnace with a flaming torch, representing God's two feet, not Abraham, which passed between the pieces. Such an act, it would seem, should be shared by both parties, but in this case it is doubtless to be explained by the fact that the covenant is principally a promise by God. He is the one who binds Himself. He is saying -- If I fail the covenant, I will bear the responsibility of being cut in half just like each of these five animals. If you fail the covenant, I will also bear the responsibility of being cut in half just like each of these five animals. And He did. Christ died for us.
So, as freaked out as I am about this pledge, I shouldn't run away. But I will tell God -- You have the responsibility of getting us both through, just like you walked through that gorge that day. And I am at the full mercy of your hands. In this fear I will pledge this, and I will do all I can and rely on your mercy to accomplish and complete this.
Your Daughter, Your God,
Esther Ng 黃敏璇 Jehova 我是
(that I Am)
Sunday 13.5.2012
**Footnote: To take care of husband and kids and help them to be more than conquerors, the overcomers and the martyrs in Revelation 12.
============================================================
Now I can just go ahead and freak out in tremendous fear in reverence. How the heck am I supposed to keep this? I better keep this.
But I just realised... that this pledge is no different to the pledge that I made when I was really young, to put my self on the offering plate and give it to God entirely without reservations. That was my first pledge. This is just an extension of the same pledge. Just like the new covenant is just an extension of the old testament.
~~~
Things I have to sort out before I can enter a relationship healthily with the right mindset -- my views on divorce and remarriage. And to change my current mindset to align with God's much stricter views -- Divorce is not an option. Because divorce does not dissolve a marriage, however legal, however money you paid out, however anything! It does end a relationship in human eyes but not in God's eyes it doesn't. God, who created male and female and marriage --- God recognises all first marriages. But will only recognise second marriages if one of the partner is dead and the other partner remarrying is still alive and has been freed completely of the first marriage. Now, it is important to recognise that this is a matter of principle. I must be very careful when I'm saying this and agreeing with David Pawson here. Because I know some of you have hard, stubborn, unyielding and unsubmissive hearts and will twist my words to say -- if we killed one partner then i can take the other free. For this, thank God, we have king David's fallen monarchy and his story to warn us of God's principles. That guilt of hiding this adultery for one year consumed king David till he just wasted away. And then from that day he set his eyes on somebody else's married woman (not that day that he actually had sex with her or married her. it goes much earlier than that), his kingdom went on a downhill decline, one of his sons raped his daughter, another son coveted after his throne and David had to flee for fear of his life. And the Israelites became a very discontent people, and they were grumbling, saying "look at the behaviour of these royal children. If they are like this, how is the monarchy going to survive?" and it didnt. It went downhill. Until Jesus Christ came with His principles as above and put it right. So don't you take God's Word (&principles) lightly. Heed them, and He will set your paths straight though full of troubles, but they will be straight and not winding so that you will not waste any of your life or your youth or your time walking in circles in the wilderness.
I want to adopt God's principles as my own, after hearing David Pawson's sermon. Do you?
When marriage takes place, there's a leaving and a cleaving (cleave is the word for glue in Hebrew). The woman and man leaves each of their parents -- this family breaks up in terms of who is now priority and who is now secondary. Leave. Left their parents. Cleaving -- go with wifey/husband.If people understood that, then there will be much less issues with mother in laws and father in laws. Cuz they know which order things go in.
David Pawson -- (Divorce and remarriage) --
You are still married even when you divorce.
Bring it closer to God's rule. Politics. Politics is relative. you have to go for the lesser of two evils.
Jesus was talking about principles -- which is "dont do evil" at all. Jesus was not a politician. A statesman works on principles. Not politics. Absolute.
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