That song (blog on same date see below) aside, today I went to a new church, the Brisbane main branch of the church I will be attending. The sub-branch is the one that I am going to, and unfortunately co-incidentally, the sub-branch's space has been used for some school event (they hired the main hall of a school on Sundays for the service). So I went to the main branch with my little sis, and heard this passage:
(Please note: Blue words are my personal little notes I jotted down)
2 Timothy 4
4 In the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who will judge the living and the dead, and in view of his appearing and his kingdom, I give you this charge: 2 Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season (when it is cool to do so, and when it is out of season -- not cool to do so); correct, rebuke and encourage — with great patience and careful instruction. 3 For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. 4 They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths. 5 But you, keep your head (i.e. use your brain) in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry. (what does discharge mean??)
6 For I am already being poured out like a drink offering (oh, so this is what discharge means... to share every single thing you know in your relationship with God fully with others so that they can too understand and have and share this relationship with God.....), and the time for my departure is near. 7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8 Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day —and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.
(記:藍色的字是我自己的筆記)
提 摩 太 後 書 4
1 我 在 神 面 前 ， 並 在 將 來 審 判 活 人 死 人 的 基 督 耶 穌 面 前 ， 憑 著 他 的 顯 現 和 他 的 國 度 囑 咐 你 ：2 務 要 傳 道 ， 無 論 得 時 不 得 時 ， 總 要 專 心 (專單討主喜悅, 不是討人或自己喜悅: 主必興旺, 我比衰微)； 並 用 百 般 的 忍 耐 (很多很多不氣餒的忍耐)， 各 樣 的 教 訓 (不要之講好話也不要只講容易聽的道, 要全部都講, 沒有一種避違不講)， 責 備 人 、 警 戒 人 、 勸 勉 人 (這三樣都不是好聽的--- 陳牧師說:當你講這三件事的時候, 你的十字架馬上就來了/出現了,因為沒有人會喜歡聽別人說他們不對,說他們走偏,說他們不好,告訴他們他們必須悔改)。
3 因 為 時 候 要 到 ， 人 必 厭 煩 純 正 的 道 理 ， 耳 朵 發 癢 ， 就 隨 從 自 己 的 情 慾 ， 增 添 好 些 師 傅 (增添好多個, 不止一兩個) ，4 並 且 掩 耳 不 聽 真 道 ， 偏 向 荒 渺 的 言 語 (ridiculous words that anybody with two pinches of sense will feel that it is atrocious) 。5 你 (they do that, but however, you:) 卻 要 凡 事 謹 慎 ， 忍 受 苦 難 ， 做 傳 道 的 工 夫 (put in the effort, plough in the seeds) ， 盡 你 的 職 分 (盡心, 盡性, 盡意, 盡力, 專心, 堅守)。 6 我 現 在 被 澆 奠 ， 我 離 世 的 時 候 到 了 。7 那 美 好 的 仗 我 已 經 打 過 了 ， 當 跑 的 路 我 已 經 跑 盡 了 ， 所 信 的 道 我 已 經 守 住 了 。8 從 此 以 後 ， 有 公 義 的 冠 冕 為 我 存 留 (十字架可換公義冠冕: the crown of God's approval) ， 就 是 按 著 公 義 審 判 的 主 到 了 那 日 要 賜 給 我 的 ； 不 但 賜 給 我 ， 也 賜 給 凡 愛 慕 他 顯 現 的 人 (不是驕傲,乃是明白--- 神原意許多人也像你一樣地純真認真地跟從祂)。
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When praying this week, I thought I heard God's approval, saying to me "yes, go." to this new church. Because He told me "do not leave you current church 不要離開,你現在的教會" while I was reading the Bible a not so distant while ago, I was a bit wavering and unpeaceful about the "yes, go". I thought, my yes go would come in half a year to 1.5years later, not now -- that is, provided I got the chance to lead Bible studies and really in these last days that I stay take the chance to build up His people in His full Word/Truth. This "yes, go", came much much sooner than I expected, but it made sense --- there has been lots of things happening these few months, between that "Do not go", and though I have talked to my current youth group leader and tried to follow up on the matter, it became apparent that there was no opportunity to lead the Bible Study (i.e. share God's full Word in all Truth without withholding) with His currently-misled sheep. So I have told God, perhaps, if He wills, I shall return in a couple of years when those misled sheep have had a chance to cool their head down and watch the church head into desolation. Perhaps then will they have the will to repent and follow what is right, and if I am still in Brisbane by then, I shall return and rebuild.
That being said, it is my wish to return to my people/homeland 本族本鄉-- my fellow singaporeans, and first and foremost get myself a husband!! (If I can't find one in Brisbane, Australia that is) So I'm not really sure where my life is going to head in the next couple years, really. See how God leads and prepares ;)
So I have been feeling this immense urge to head to the new position, because whilst I am here trying to convince those misled sheep who are stubbornly unconvincable, people there in that other church are dying due to the lack of life, the life that they do not see in God's word. This is a calling that came to me a few weeks before I saw that I was wasting my time here at SIC. And David Pawson, in one of his sermons on youtube (maybe the End Times serires? ) , said that he started preaching God's Word since he was 19... and I was thinking... I'm 25 now... what am I doing starting so late? Wasting my time in backstage ministry (like playing the guitar on stage, being in the choir, all these ministries that are not the sharing of God's Word, where life is.) whilst people are dying? I talked to Carlos Leung, my Catholic ex-Suncorp shi ge and spiritual mentor (yes, I am a protestant), he told me, him and his wifey enrolled in a Bible College course together, and he is alternating between studying Actuarial studies and Bible College course, because, like me, he said he has thought about studying Bible College after he finishes all his actuarial studies, but that is at least a good 10 years later. And he will be like what? Around 40 by that time, so yes, he will have more time, but God said, "give of your best" time "to the Master". So he will be 40 and have more time, but it is not his prime, best time. That really... hit somewhere deep with me. I too, want to give my best, prime time (as battled as my health already is at the moment), to my Master (cuz if not now, maybe it will get even worst later as I age).
So I'm not gonna waste my time anymore. I'm going into this new ministry, and after listening to the Bible reading (see above) yesterday (Sunday), I know that, as iffy and wavering as I was at the clear "yes, go", that that passage was for me. The sermon was spoken for me. The sermon was spoken to me. The sermon and the passage were very very serious warnings straight up for me, to me: to stay true. And this is God's way of saying, "Yep, Esther, go start the new Word-sharing ministry, but in Me. not in you. And stay true to Me, stay true to my Word, or else what I will make my enemies become, I will also make you become, because you do not heed my words and because you deviate from my Word and go your own way, and you have left my roots and I have no use for a broken grape branch." Now heed my warnings, and go start the ministry in full courage and confidence that I AM is with you. This is how you start, and this is how you will end. Start it with me, keep yourself in me, and I, the Lord, the Holy Spirit will guarantee it ends in me.
Hallelujah. Amen.
Coincidentally-uncoincidentally, one of the songs we sang in the service was "呼喊吧!神的百姓呼喊吧!耶和華已將這城交給我們. -- Shout! You people of the Lord, for He has handed this city into your hands." Think Jericho, where the walls crumbled and fell. The gates of Hades will not overcome it.
"Lord, I'm going!!!!" Itekimasu!! Kyou mo, kono 一年mo, itsumo you ni, tzugi no se wa, yoroshiku, onegaishimasu! Ganbatte masu!
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