17.10.2012
5.22am
Had a really weird dream last night...
that I was some sort of a teacher in somewhere, and something happened that because I was a Christian I was sacked/forced out subtly of my job. And then there was this male best friend, who pretended to be my best friend, but actually was the instigator of all these. All throughout I suspected that he was dodgy, and tried to keep my distance but because didn't want him to realise that I know, I still had to act as if nothing happened. Then after I lost my job and was last day or something about to leave, he came and asked me out ... and the weird thing was... he was satan.
I woke up aroused from the dream, and I had my cuddle pillow next to me. At that instant, it felt that Satan was this close, and inside it. I was bothered and alarmed and alerted. Immediately I woke up, and after sitting on my bed for a short while, I turned the lights on. There was tension in the air, I wondered if the unseen spiritual realm was having a battle, so I took out my Bible and read Genesis where it talked about Satan's entry to the world and the prophesy of his eventual doom. Then I turned to Revelation and read about him being binded up for 1000 years, then released momentarily, then finally chucked into hell and bounded and sealed -- reminding me that satan's power is not that great, and that a once-fellow angel with it can even tie it up by the power of Christ and His Holy Spirit at the decree of God the Father, doesn't need God to do it Himself. I put on the full armour (literally went through the list and remembering I got them and assuringly put them on) and said to whatever was there -- Get behind me, Satan, in the Name of Jesus Christ. I also pulled out my baptism and asked it -- Don't you know I am already dead and buried? And you witnessed it. At that moment I felt the tension ease, whatever it was, cowered and left.
Then I pulled out my new electric guitar -- i.e. my other "harp" -- because can't play the acoustic cuz too loud -- at around 4.45am, every1 was asleep. Then I also pulled out the GNLC hymn book 1 and played For This Purpose (我主基督已经显明）whose chorus is like Handel's Messiah, however it says -- Over sin, He has conquered, Hallelujah, He has conquered; over death -- victorious, Hallalujah, victorious. Over sickness He has triumphed, Hallelujah, He has triumphed -- Jesus reigns over all! (Song12, D major, Capo2 C if you want)
I reckon the weird dream also had a lot to do with that new song -- "Promise" i wrote in the previous post. I think the fact that it logs "us" -- how God and I are usually like, walking together. And because it was written with one of the purposes as adding to the hymn tracks that will be useful for equipping the church for persecution then I think that satan doesn't like it at all, and is trying to do something against it -- I've also had particular troubles in the process of making that video... more than usual.
Lyrics here ---- ("The struggles that we face, You put us through fire, You do this to prove -- that we're Your Real gold") --
a gold that can be filtered 7 times to make it this pure. And real gold-- I used a pic on the youtube vid that has two fluffy strong winter dogs (or wolfs?) running together, one in front of the other -- to symbolise that if we go through struggles like this, God can call us along to run with Him whenever He wants cuz we can keep up with Him -- we're His real gold in His heart in that way, kinda like... best friends whom you call out for an excursion or expedition, you know? And to prove that -- i.e. to prove like He did Job -- to prove to those around and especially to the angels. Afterall, we are going to rule over them one day and God needs to appease their hearts and minds, to convince them it is ok -- that if they submit/subject to us it will be ok cuz we will subject to God. And afterall, there is also this bad angel who needs a lot more convincing than the rest... and to prove that Christ's way is right rather than his (satan, btw, just in case the reader hasn't realised..).
And what's more, every time I sing that bit of the song I remember those in Vietnam and worldwide like Pao who are facing persecution, imprisonment, torture and execution, and I consequently pray for them that God would make them strong and worthy.
And "sainou wa ima -- sou ka? Kitto kaeru so sa! Mitasu tame ni doryourku -- Our promise", basically saying that to enter the kingdom requires effort, and is the result of our life on this earth before/during our death, and we need to try to find talents and things that we can develop, invest them by developing them and then when we got them, we can return it to God like those with the 5000 and 2000 talents. Then we are faithful and we can reign.
Looking for things to fix to be right with God -- I have to fix my business spreadsheet. And then the other thing that came to mind was my relationship with Chao -- actually I don't furiously like him anymore, and quite successfully curbed what was my love for him, and in my head (and both of our heads, I'm sure..), we're like -- let's never ever get back together. And I still sustain that. However, it somehow felt like something to fix, so I told God, 夫子啊，我们一夜劳苦，并没有得着什么。但是就因为你说了，我就试一试吧。Trying to quote God the Bible, I tried to flip to the place where apostle Peter said that. But instead (cuz didn't know Bible well enough to know which gospel it came from) I flipped to John, at the last chapter and read it there, then read to a previously-highlighted bit in my Bible about Jesus asking Peter "do you love me" three times. And I cried -- because it is as if God was preparing me for the persecution ahead. I asked God -- will going through this put me at the top 3 on the left hand side in that V-shaped flight of birds (from a previous convo many years ago with God... i.e. in His army). Then I repeated 夫子啊，我们一夜劳苦，并没有得着什么。但是就因为你说了，我就试一试吧。
So I texted Chao with this message --
"Heya Chao, I'm serious about this, and not asking for a test -- would you go out with me?
It's not going to be easy but that's what makes it worth it.
Even if you're going interstate I'll wait for you."
I asked God twice -- “那我就真的send了哦？？？？？？？？？”
And after sending I still felt weird... 夫子啊，我们一夜劳苦，并没有得着什么。但是就因为你说了，我就真的试一试了哦..。With the "..just Anything, I suppose, you know??" kind of an attitude, not really expecting a yes, but I told God, if it's still not Chao then all I need is a simple no, and if he says no, I'll really wash my hands off this, and that He allows and I can log in my mind that this issue is fixed. But if it's a yes then I have to take Revelation 12 more seriously...
Who knows, aye?
5.22am
Had a really weird dream last night...
that I was some sort of a teacher in somewhere, and something happened that because I was a Christian I was sacked/forced out subtly of my job. And then there was this male best friend, who pretended to be my best friend, but actually was the instigator of all these. All throughout I suspected that he was dodgy, and tried to keep my distance but because didn't want him to realise that I know, I still had to act as if nothing happened. Then after I lost my job and was last day or something about to leave, he came and asked me out ... and the weird thing was... he was satan.
I woke up aroused from the dream, and I had my cuddle pillow next to me. At that instant, it felt that Satan was this close, and inside it. I was bothered and alarmed and alerted. Immediately I woke up, and after sitting on my bed for a short while, I turned the lights on. There was tension in the air, I wondered if the unseen spiritual realm was having a battle, so I took out my Bible and read Genesis where it talked about Satan's entry to the world and the prophesy of his eventual doom. Then I turned to Revelation and read about him being binded up for 1000 years, then released momentarily, then finally chucked into hell and bounded and sealed -- reminding me that satan's power is not that great, and that a once-fellow angel with it can even tie it up by the power of Christ and His Holy Spirit at the decree of God the Father, doesn't need God to do it Himself. I put on the full armour (literally went through the list and remembering I got them and assuringly put them on) and said to whatever was there -- Get behind me, Satan, in the Name of Jesus Christ. I also pulled out my baptism and asked it -- Don't you know I am already dead and buried? And you witnessed it. At that moment I felt the tension ease, whatever it was, cowered and left.
Then I pulled out my new electric guitar -- i.e. my other "harp" -- because can't play the acoustic cuz too loud -- at around 4.45am, every1 was asleep. Then I also pulled out the GNLC hymn book 1 and played For This Purpose (我主基督已经显明）whose chorus is like Handel's Messiah, however it says -- Over sin, He has conquered, Hallelujah, He has conquered; over death -- victorious, Hallalujah, victorious. Over sickness He has triumphed, Hallelujah, He has triumphed -- Jesus reigns over all! (Song12, D major, Capo2 C if you want)
I reckon the weird dream also had a lot to do with that new song -- "Promise" i wrote in the previous post. I think the fact that it logs "us" -- how God and I are usually like, walking together. And because it was written with one of the purposes as adding to the hymn tracks that will be useful for equipping the church for persecution then I think that satan doesn't like it at all, and is trying to do something against it -- I've also had particular troubles in the process of making that video... more than usual.
Lyrics here ---- ("The struggles that we face, You put us through fire, You do this to prove -- that we're Your Real gold") --
a gold that can be filtered 7 times to make it this pure. And real gold-- I used a pic on the youtube vid that has two fluffy strong winter dogs (or wolfs?) running together, one in front of the other -- to symbolise that if we go through struggles like this, God can call us along to run with Him whenever He wants cuz we can keep up with Him -- we're His real gold in His heart in that way, kinda like... best friends whom you call out for an excursion or expedition, you know? And to prove that -- i.e. to prove like He did Job -- to prove to those around and especially to the angels. Afterall, we are going to rule over them one day and God needs to appease their hearts and minds, to convince them it is ok -- that if they submit/subject to us it will be ok cuz we will subject to God. And afterall, there is also this bad angel who needs a lot more convincing than the rest... and to prove that Christ's way is right rather than his (satan, btw, just in case the reader hasn't realised..).
And what's more, every time I sing that bit of the song I remember those in Vietnam and worldwide like Pao who are facing persecution, imprisonment, torture and execution, and I consequently pray for them that God would make them strong and worthy.
And "sainou wa ima -- sou ka? Kitto kaeru so sa! Mitasu tame ni doryourku -- Our promise", basically saying that to enter the kingdom requires effort, and is the result of our life on this earth before/during our death, and we need to try to find talents and things that we can develop, invest them by developing them and then when we got them, we can return it to God like those with the 5000 and 2000 talents. Then we are faithful and we can reign.
Looking for things to fix to be right with God -- I have to fix my business spreadsheet. And then the other thing that came to mind was my relationship with Chao -- actually I don't furiously like him anymore, and quite successfully curbed what was my love for him, and in my head (and both of our heads, I'm sure..), we're like -- let's never ever get back together. And I still sustain that. However, it somehow felt like something to fix, so I told God, 夫子啊，我们一夜劳苦，并没有得着什么。但是就因为你说了，我就试一试吧。Trying to quote God the Bible, I tried to flip to the place where apostle Peter said that. But instead (cuz didn't know Bible well enough to know which gospel it came from) I flipped to John, at the last chapter and read it there, then read to a previously-highlighted bit in my Bible about Jesus asking Peter "do you love me" three times. And I cried -- because it is as if God was preparing me for the persecution ahead. I asked God -- will going through this put me at the top 3 on the left hand side in that V-shaped flight of birds (from a previous convo many years ago with God... i.e. in His army). Then I repeated 夫子啊，我们一夜劳苦，并没有得着什么。但是就因为你说了，我就试一试吧。
So I texted Chao with this message --
"Heya Chao, I'm serious about this, and not asking for a test -- would you go out with me?
It's not going to be easy but that's what makes it worth it.
Even if you're going interstate I'll wait for you."
I asked God twice -- “那我就真的send了哦？？？？？？？？？”
And after sending I still felt weird... 夫子啊，我们一夜劳苦，并没有得着什么。但是就因为你说了，我就真的试一试了哦..。With the "..just Anything, I suppose, you know??" kind of an attitude, not really expecting a yes, but I told God, if it's still not Chao then all I need is a simple no, and if he says no, I'll really wash my hands off this, and that He allows and I can log in my mind that this issue is fixed. But if it's a yes then I have to take Revelation 12 more seriously...
Who knows, aye?
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