The pain of failure to keep us going

Chill Lax training last night...

and telecommunications didn't work. Spent the first 30mins connecting everyone and first 45mins with many disruptions

And the Spirit of the Lord didn't fill me in the first half and I could feel no passion in my words, it was like reading words out of the pages.

Last night's Training, was to establish/reestablish a vertical connection with God so strong that love -- unquenchable by many waters, unsweepable by many rivers. Where God asked them individually, "Do you love me?" and "Would you really like to be able to love me that way?"

Passages from Song of Songs 8:6-7 and 1 Cor 13 as we explored what is love? From the bottom up perspective. (how do I love God).

Then the REF boys came in the second half both in person and online. And Christin took over the IT side and both her and Agnes offered to dial the boys in on the phone. Then suddenly the Spirit of God ignited in me a fervency as we talked about Masturbation, Porn, Occult and met fire with fire by exclaiming "I HAVE TO BE FAITHFUL!!" in relation to Love is not dishonouring -- not doing things that shame God.

What is Love? (us towards God)

Love is having an anchored faith produced by fasting your heart in waiting.

It is being soft enough to be full of nobility and grace and give thanks in arduous circumstance

It is not being jealous/envying to the point that you are possessive and not jealous of the glory that belongs to God -- because He thought it nothing in order to come down and save you

It is not being boastful of this lifetime's success

Love is the opposite of proud -- humility enough to accept His 100% exact & precise leadership (like Samuel and Moses who though lead, have God as Commander)

- "Not proud" is also "not wild" - but comes with stable emotions through years of deliberate, practiced sanctification/purification => it is mourning with foresight to see the looming risks/dangers before the world mourns & rejoicing only when you know everything is locked in in eternity.

Love does not dishonour -- It says, I will not do things that will bring you shame. "I HAVE TO BE FAITHFUL!!"

It is not self seeking, not easily angered, keeps no records of wrongs, does not delight in evil but rejoiced with Truth. Love always protects, trusts, hopes, perseveres.

Love is at the core -- between you and the omnipresent Him

Love is with all your heart.

And His response, "I love you with an everlasting love".

Afterwards, we called them -- in the stillness of the night -- if they are the people who would give up everything and go after God's heart. Many of them put up their hands. My heart weighs for the ones who didnt.

We watched That the World May Know series, part 2

The things done through Chill Lax, is really the only road running East/West, down the mountains, across the Jordan river to "The Other Side" and connect to the King's Highway on the other side. 

(That the World May Know series, episode 1, Promised land)

But the pain of failure of telecommunications and the frustration it brought really weighs on me -- and I am determined -- what do i have to do, so that next time it will surely work??

And I didn't know all these would happen but we also recorded the session for the first time on voice. So we can edit out the noisy bits and publish it for those who missed out.

Sola gratia.